Loveless
by MarySLi
Summary: Cat was born in the middle of a critical era. Unwanted, nobody expected her to become a crucial piece in the development of happenings. Making decisions that were easy for normal girls turned into a nightmare. "Was I selfish enough to risk my nation just for the love of a stranger? Would I risk thousands of lives for a tiny ray of hope?" Tykki X OC X Kanda
1. Chapter 1

**Original story:** D Gray Man, by Katsura Hoshino.

**Genre**: Drama/Romance.

**Pairings:** Tykki-OC-Kanda, and some others.

**Location:** Europe, in the second half of VIIIth century.

**Language:** English. This isn't my mother tongue, so I apologize for any mistakes.

**Chapter 1 Catelyn.**

The day I was born was told to be the coldest day of winter. From the very beginning I was hated by my father for the simple mistake of not being a boy. My mother, too old to breed more children, lost the love of the king for not being able to conceive a male. If she was a hostile woman before, she became obnoxious. I was blamed for that too.

So I grew up amongst maids and servants who treated me like a mistress even though I was just a baby. The ridiculousness of the circumstances turned me into a cynical, bitter being. Or that was the concept I used to have of myself at seventeen...until _he_ appeared.

Dinner was served in the eastern garden. Candelabras lit the perimeter, while tall, beige candles stood along the tables. At the principal table were seated the king, Malcolm Leverrier, the queen, Elizabeth Leuttenberger and, besides the queen, my sister, Elizabeth Juliet Leverrier. Her long, blonde hair and refined manners, alongside the natural beauty of her features, gained her a special place at the table and in everybody's heart. No wonder why she was so pompous and whimsical.

At the honor table, at the right of the principal table, the guests were seated. The king of Portugal gave me the goose-bumps as soon as my eyes landed upon him. His round belly barely allowed him to stay close to the table. A ridiculously tall, black hat stood upon his head, while a pair of spectacles reflected the yellow light of the candles. However, that wasn't what freaked me out. His smile, far from friendly, was sly and wicked.

Beside him, a man and an equally creepy girl ate dinner. The man, I had to admit, caught my eye immediately. He was rather good-looking and classy. As a northerner, his exotic, dark skin intrigued me. His features were symmetrical, and the yellow eyes reminded me of a cat. Nonetheless, as mysterious as he could be, there was something in his superb aura that yelled 'danger' to me.

I averted my gaze from him. It didn't help the fact that I was sent to the table across them, beside the functionaries and counselors. Dispensable people, as I called them. I knew my father wished I was dispensable too. Unfortunately, seldom highborn were willing to marry me. Not that I cared about that.

A jester the Earl had brought juggled gracefully in the center of the room. A troubadour played a zither in a corner cheerfully. Jesters never entertained me. I judged them rather tasteless and bothersome. Therefore, I toyed with my food absentmindedly, waiting for the stupid thing to end. I ignored the jokes and conversations around me. They never said anything interesting and nobody talked directly to me.

Suddenly, the fat, Portuguese king exclaimed something in a language I didn't understand. He stood up and beckoned a servant with a brusque movement of his head. A guard, tall, with the same tanned skin, approached the jester with a cynical smile printed on his face. The jester gestured at him, and the guard unsheathed his sword. The jester's smile hesitated for a second but he recovered the composure.

"Make him dance, great knight!" the fat king exclaimed and applauded.

I frowned. Somehow, I wasn't liking the direction this was taking. The jester, a man in his forties, eyed the guard warily and discreetly stepped away. The guard only laughed mischievously and poked the jester's ribs with the tip of his sword.

The poor man jolted aside. The guard kept on harassing him with his sword, engaging some kind of creepy, cruel dance with the jester. On the other table, the Portugueses laughed and clapped gleefully.

Naturally, I scandalized. Threads of blood started running down the arms and neck of the jester. He looked at my father in search for help, his pleading eyes requesting the mercy of a ruthless king.

Leverrier only barked a laughter when the guard pushed the jester down to his knees.

My hands clutched the utensils until the knuckles turned white. Another warm hand covered my left fist.

"Calm down." Link, my father's closest counselor, coldly commanded.

I slid my hand away from his, "It's humiliating! Make it stop." I hissed. Several eyes looked in my direction, but I ignored them.

"It's politics." He simply replied.

"It's cruelty!" The outburst came out uncontrolled. I felt everybody glancing at me, even the people across the table. The guard that had been torturing the poor jester looked at me and then at his king, waiting for instructions. Unmoved, I stared back at the three foreigners, judging them in silence with a deadly glare.

The Earl's smile widened and he inclined his head in my direction, "I apologize for making you uncomfortable, princess." His English was broad. It was as if he chewed every word before spitting it out. I didn't miss the unfriendly tone in his apology.

"Well, just stop it." I snapped back without thinking.

A tense silence installed in the patio. Everyone gave me judgmental glares, except the jester. His eyes showed such gratitude that it overclouded the others. It made me believe that I did the right thing…although no one else thought it so.

"Catelyn, I think it's time for you to go to your room." Leverrier calmly said.

I scowled, "But I haven't finished my-"

"Catelyn." The king repeated, "They will escort you." He locked gazes with me, reassuring in silence his authority in the room. I returned him a challenging look. How could he send me to my room, like a chastised child, when everything I did was defend a citizen? Wasn't that what we were supposed to do?

_Of course not, _a bitter voice in my head reminded me, _what we do is taking care of ourselves._

Two guards approached my seat and waited patiently. I left my napkin on the table and stood up as gracefully as I could.

"Excuse me." I icily said and turned around to leave.

As I headed towards the doors, a shiver ran down my spine. I automatically turned around, and caught a pair of shiny, yellow eyes following me.

I stood the gaze for one second. A smirk curved his lips and he raised his glass cryptically. I furrowed my eyebrows and continued walking.

* * *

"I'll go to the stables." I informed the guards when we were midway towards my rooms.

"We were commanded to take you safely to your room." One of them emotionlessly said.

"Yeah, well, you can just say I'm there and leave me alone." I muttered.

Both guards turned to look at each other. One of them, Captain Toma, subtly nodded.

"We'll leave you at the entrance of the tower. Be in your room in half an hour." He whispered to me.

I nodded. Toma was one of the few people I actually liked in this big castle. He was considerate and loyal, and treated me like a girl and not a princess. I almost felt like obeying his instructions just to save him from trouble.

When they left me alone, I soundlessly ran across the western courtyard towards the wooden stables. Beside them there was a small building, more like a cottage, with a tile rooftop. They had given it to the adoptive child of some renowned courtesan who never actually showed up. The boy's presence and looks constituted a mystery to everyone, yet, no one said a word about it, since the kid was under the protection of the king. Whoever the courtesan was, he had to be very powerful to obtain such a favor from Leverrier.

I kicked a twig in my way to the cottage and then knocked at the door, "Allen! You in there?"

The door opened barely enough for him to peep outside, "Cat, something wrong?"

"Can I come in?" I requested.

Allen feigned a scowl, "Will that get me in trouble?"

I couldn't help smirking, "Probably."

The albino boy shook his head and let me in, "What happened?"

The contained rage surged. I kicked the wall and scoffed, "It's stupid! Since when does defending a poor man is a crime?! And he kicked me out! He didn't even bother to do it subtly. Oh, no, he had to put on a show and let everyone know how unwelcome I am! What is his bloody problem?!" I started swearing nonsensically, letting out all the frustration and anger that were badly contained within myself.

Allen sighed and sat down on a chair besides the fireplace, "And so the princess exclaimed." He teased sardonically

I huffed, "I'm being serious, Allen! They were torturing the poor jester just for the sake of their…sadistic entertainment! What kind of sick person does that?!" I opened my arms and gesticulated exaggeratedly. Damn, I was so angry!

The condescending smile disappeared from his face, "First of all, lower your voice." He advised. And he was right. I hadn't realized I was screaming until he said so.

I inhaled deeply and sat on a stool, "Right."

"Now, tell me exactly what happened, because I have no idea of what you're talking about." His patience was one of the virtues I valued the most. He transmitted me calmness even when my blood boiled with indignation.

In short sentences, I described what had happened, from the very beginning. With every word I pronounced, my tone raised and my cheeks warmed. I realized how foolish I had been, and how badly my reckless behavior may affect the political balance. A stab of fear crossed my heart.

As he listened to my narration, Allen's countenance turned more and more somber, "You say they are Portuguese?"

I nodded, suddenly furious with myself, "They are trying to make a deal." I muttered between clenched teeth.

"An allegiance," Allen corrected. I turned to look at him, "I'm aware of the situation, Cat. I also hear the rumors."

"But, still," I exclaimed in an endeavor to justify myself, "What they did was wrong! Plainly wrong! And I am right! Father should have stood up for me!"

"They are the Noah family, Cat." Something in Allen's grim tone made me feel dreadful, "They are merciless and cruel. Have you ever heard about how The Earl repressed Lisbon's rebellion ten years ago?"

I frowned. The genocide's rumors reached every corner of every nation, but it sounded more like mythology than actual truth, "That's just a myth, Allen."

"It's not." He curtly said. His eyes looked into mine and he swallowed, "I was there. Mana died that day."

I froze in my place. The story was brutal and inhuman. It was rumored that no one survived that day in a radio of one hundred miles. How Allen could had been there?

"You're not serious." I exclaimed.

Allen's suddenly saddened eyes told me otherwise. He stared at the fire and mused for several seconds, "The circus always installed in an empty solar downtown," his voice came out tremulous. I knew Mana was a clown, and Allen worked as his partner a couple of years, so I didn't need a heads-up. However, he never told me how he ended up orphan again, until this moment, "The soldiers surrounded the solar. They killed everyone. Men, women, babies… I hid under Mana's cart."

"Wha-" I had to swallow the lump that formed in my throat, "What happened to Mana?"

"I," his frown darkened, "I really don't know. After watching how they slayed everyone, I closed my eyes in fear. I only moved when I heard steps approaching the cart. Two soldiers bathed in blood saw me and I had to run. There were corpses everywhere I looked. As I ran into the streets, I saw entire families being dragged out of their houses and killed on the streets. Men were hung at the beginning of every block." He shuddered and paused for a minute. I felt like throwing up.

"And then?" I warily asked.

"Cross saved me." His humor seemed to lighten up a bit, "He was arguing something with a high rank soldier when I ran into him. I remember looking up at his red hair and apologizing for dirtying his fancy clothes. He then caught me by the shoulder and commanded the soldiers to leave me alone."

"Did you know him from before?"

He shook his head, "No. I'm quite sure we had never seen each other before."

"That's…odd."

He nodded in agreement, "Anyway, just as he was guiding me to his carriage, I saw him." He continued, "He was at the top of a hill, supervising the job, his clothes neat and clean; his sword sheathed. Even a six year-old kid like me could recognize him. And he was smiling…SMILING!" At this point, his hands clenched into fists. "It was almost as if he was enjoying it."

"Who?" My voice quivered.

Allen's eyes finally met me, and the hatred in them trespassed me like a spear, "The Earl's nephew. Tykki Mikk."

* * *

A/N: New project, please, reviews? I wanna know if I should continue this :)


	2. Chapter 2

**_Chapter 2: Catelyn_**

I returned to my room later that night. As I walked, I thought about the things Allen had said. The story was devastating. I wondered how Allen dealt with it at such a short age. If I were him, I would have gone crazy, or, at least, crumbled down. He, however, was so composed and normal that it was almost scary.

As I climbed the stairs to my tower, the smell of musk and sandal invaded my nostrils. I looked up and found the unknown silhouette of a man knocking at my door.

Before I could open my mouth, he swiftly spun on his heels. A pair of yellow eyes fixated on my face. One of his hands flew to grab the handle of his sword.

I raised my hands in a peaceful gesture, "Who are you?" My voice came out shaky and weak.

"Princess," I had never heard his voice before. It was profound and serious, almost mesmerizing. He bowed politely and flashed me a wicked smile, "I thought you were in your room."

My heart raced and my mind immediately flew to Toma. I replied as steady as I could, "I couldn't sleep."

Tykki Mikk nodded condescendingly, "Of course."

"What do you want…my lord?" I reluctantly bowed and gritted my teeth. As nauseous as he made me, I was conscious of the behavior I was obliged to display, especially after that night's show.

His sly smile widened and he pointed to the door with an elegant movement of his hand, "May I come in?"

I raised my chin and offered him the most brilliant grin I had, "A lady wouldn't let a stranger come into her room, would she?"

He chuckled and shook his head, "But she wouldn't deny anything to a prince, right?"

"Maybe," I raised my eyebrow and crossed my arms, "If she wasn't in her own castle."

He copied my position and blatantly analyzed my figure, "You're quite a thing." He added with another chuckle.

His attitude somehow made me think that he was making fun of me. My blood boiled and some sort of unknown emotion spread across my chest.

"I don't want to be rude, my lord, but I'm not a thing." I replied as politely as I could, "Now, if you excuse me, I want to sleep."

Just when I had stepped forward, he blocked my way, "There are better things to do at night, don't you think?" he shamelessly proposed.

My heartbeat accelerated. No one ever had talked to me like that before. I knew what he meant, though. As a member of the castle, I was aware of the affairs going on between the courtesans, as well as the indecorous proposals that were whispered daily when the maids gossiped.

I felt offended, yet, I endeavored to control my anger and divert the subject, "Indeed. The gardens look spectacular at night."

He shook his head, "I'll take that as a farewell, then." He replied, apparently amused. Without previous warning, he took my hand and kissed it gently, "I'll see you tomorrow, my lady."

I bowed, "Good night, m'lord."

When he left, I rushed into my room and locked the door behind my back. I started hyperventilating, my heart beating fiercely inside its ribcage. What had just happened?

_What was he doing at my door? What brought him here? _Those questions grew bigger and bigger inside my mind. Tykki Mikk… truth be told, he was handsome. There was something in his elegance and manners that was doubtlessly magnetic. However, Allen's tale had painted him like a merciless, sadistic man, and the way he laughed at the torture the jester had suffered only enhanced that picture. Then, what interest could he have in me? Why did he come to my room at night? And why was I so affected by it?

The conversation reappeared in my mind. Did he want to sleep with me? Why? And what made him think I'd accept? Albeit hated by my whole family, I was a respectable highborn lady. I wasn't like those courtesans who bedded down with any handsome man. The idea of him picturing me like that sickened me. And, at the same time, a trace of fear ran down my spine.

I shook my head and decided to not think about that anymore. I called one of my maids and told her to send Toma a message in which I requested a guard posted at my door. Then, I changed into my nightgown, and let another maid brush my hair.

"He is handsome." Emily said. She was a British lady, daughter of some overthrown duke. When her family became poor, the best she could aim for was becoming the maid of a princess. However, the spoiled, frivolous behavior never left her persona.

I flinched when she untangled a knot, "He is dangerous."

She smiled at me through the mirror, "And? No affair is more passionate than the dangerous one."

I frowned. Of course, Emily had already laid with half the guards, courtesans and other male figures of the castle. I wouldn't be surprised if she had been with the king too. Nonetheless, I didn't share her ideology at all. I didn't believe in having affairs with strangers, less people I see around every day. I didn't believe in getting involved with anyone at all. They all end up hurting you, hating you for sins you never made.

"He is the prince of Portugal."

"Even better!" She exclaimed, excited.

"It's not worth the risk." I murmured thoughtlessly. I didn't fear being sincere around Emily. As silly as she could be, she didn't fell into gossip. After years of coexisting together, none of my tiny, little secrets had surfaced from her lips. If she hadn't been so shallow and empty-headed, she may have become my best friend.

"Right." She sighed and started to braid my long, brown hair, "You know your sister is going to take him if you don't. I saw her eyeing Sir Mikk during dinner."

I sighed. That would be classic of Elizabeth. Sometimes, I wondered how she could be the favorite one when she was the most rebellious of us. Perhaps it was because, unlike me, she knew how to keep a low profile.

"I know." I stood up when she finished, "Go rest. Don't wake me up for breakfast."

* * *

She didn't obey my instructions, though. The ring of a bell shook me out of my slumber.

"Wha-what?" I blinked and glanced around.

Emily pulled me out of bed and pushed me towards a bathtub. "The water is still hot. Get in!"

"What?" I stumbled and endeavored to keep my balance as another set of maids started to undress me, "What's going on?"

"I'll get the red dress…no, the blue one!" Without answering my questions, Emily ran to my wardrobe and started pulling out clothes.

"Emily!"

"Sssh, my lady," an older woman gently pushed me towards the tub, "Lady Mary will be here in a minute."

I gulped. Lady Mary was my governess, a cold, stern woman that tormented me my whole childhood. The remains of an unfounded fear shook me up. After I turned fifteen, the only occasions in which Lady Mary visited me were when I was meant to visit some lord with which my father wanted to marry me.

I shuddered.

* * *

They lead me to the guests' wing of the castle. I walked among Portuguese visitors, men and women of tanned skin and dark hair, hearing Lady Mary's ramble about manners and stuff. The hallways were wide and well lit by big, golden chandeliers. The walls were decorated with paintings of our antecessors and some Scottish and British landscapes.

We turned a corner and walked towards a balcony. A table was set with plenty of fruit, recently-baked bread, _omelette, _sausages, and some French pastries. Around us, fresh roses flowered in their pots, covered with the morning dew.

When I appeared, he stood up and adjusted his black vest. He took off the tall hat and bowed. "Good morning, my lady."

I froze. I looked back at my party, but it was gone. In the balcony, there were only Tykki, a waiter and me.

I responded a second too late. "Good morning, my lord."

He parsimoniously walked to my side of the table. I stepped back automatically, defensive. He only raised an eyebrow and pulled the chair back for me. "Please, take a seat."

I eyed him warily, but obeyed. When I was set, he took his place across me and observed my movements.

"Please, eat. I'm sure you're hungry."

I bit a piece of apple out of pure courtesy and snapped, "Why am I here?"

"To share breakfast with me." Tykki simply replied.

"And by whose consent?"

The foreigner looked at me like I had asked something plainly ridiculous, "The king's, of course."

Of course. The question itself was stupid. All the kingdom knew how eager my father was to get rid of me.

I gritted my teeth and said nothing. I gnawed a sausage and averted my gaze, reluctant to talk to him or even look at his handsome features directly.

When the silence had become uncomfortable, he cleared his throat and reclined on his chair, "Look, we can do this the hard way or the easy one."

I blinked, my heart pounding madly. So far, no man had ever asked me to breakfast or dinner or anything. My parents' aversion towards me was well known and the high lords' pride would never allow them to take under their protection some others' leftovers.

Tykki was the first one who seemed eager to meet me. Last night's encounter was still fresh in my mind.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about." I lied.

Tykki chuckled in that patronizing way of his, "I bet you're not as innocent as you make yourself be, so why don't we leave aside the charade and speak face to face, huh?"

He intimidated me. The way his yellow eyes seemed to read right into my soul scared me.

I lifted my chin and chewed a peach silently, trying to gain time to think. In the high circles, the words acquired certain power when spoken. Truths could easily leak through someone's lips even while lying, and Tykki seemed to be an expert in the wordplay. The behavior also played an important part. If he saw me weak and undecided, he'd catalogue me as an easy prey. He'd destroy me. I had to play the strong, confident card. I had to scary him away.

I left the fruit aside and cleaned my mouth as gracefully as I could, "Then, stop talking in riddles and say what you mean."

"Now, we speak the same language." He left aside his cup and locked gazes with me, "I'm leaving tomorrow and want to leave this settled tonight. I'm not a patient man."

"And I'm not a patient woman." I actually never acknowledged myself as a woman. I was only seventeen, after all. However, a confident person wouldn't call herself a girl, "but, as I recall, you are here to meet Elizabeth."

And it was true. I remembered overhearing my father mentioning that during dinner a week before the Portuguese's arrival. The allegiance would be sealed with a marriage, if that needed to be done, and Elizabeth was the perfect match to a powerful dynasty like the Noah's. I was never considered to be in the picture.

"She's not fun at all." He waved his hand contemptuously, "unlike you, my darling."

"She's prettier." I automatically repeated what I'd heard my entire life, hoping it'd save me "and more graceful."

"Witless, I rather call her." He pompously snarled, "so, when will you be moving to Lisbon to prepare the wedding?"

His confidence intrigued me. Did he really have such a high concept of himself?

"I haven't said yes." I snapped.

"You can't say no."

He was right. I could almost see Leverrier giving the man half of England just to take me away. Nonetheless, I spat, "I believe I can."

Tykki guffawed. His reaction enraged me. I gripped the border of the table tightly.

"I'm Tykki Mikk, love," he gave me a strange look, and the glimmer in his eyes froze me to the core, "I get what I want. Unless you want your kingdom to perish under the hand of France, you may as well start looking for a wedding dress."

There. He had just thrown the bomb. I was somehow expecting this, yet, it didn't make it any easier. My head started spinning and my heart practically climbed to my throat.

"France is not enough to defeat us." I deadpanned.

Tykki Mikk looked into my eyes and laughed, "It is if it has Portugal's help. However, if they know England and Portugal are together, they won't dare lift a finger against you. Many lives will be saved."

I couldn't believe he had pulled out this card. I stared at him, thunderstruck. My shoulders started to ache from the tension, or perhaps of the imaginary weight of a whole nation upon me. I looked down at the food, but its vision only made me nauseous.

"Either answer you give, you'll be coming with me." He smirked and leaned forward, "When we devastate your city and invade your castle, I will personally find you, and it won't be nice." His breath reached my face. It smelled of alcohol and mint, "So we can do this the easy way or the hard one."

I stared at my knuckles, suddenly terrified. The perspective he was offering me was horrifying. The images Allen had painted in my head all rushed at once. I could ignore his threat, I could even laugh at him, if I didn't know he was right. The reason why this allegiance was so important was because England had no resources to stand a war against France. Why were they fighting? I had no idea, but we couldn't afford it. And now, this stranger, this maniac and sadist had put on me the weight of a kingdom.

A simple, short answer, was going to determine the direction of the lives of thousands of families.

I glared at him. I suddenly realized I hated this man. The emotion burnt my chest and dried my mouth.

He only smiled, "Look at it this way: you will no longer be a burden to your parents."

Without much thought, I leaned forward and hissed, "Oh, I will be a burden. I'll make sure I am the heaviest of all burdens for the rest of your life."

He smiled with self-satisfaction, taking my implicit acceptance for granted, "Fine, I like challenges." he elegantly grabbed a crystal cup of wine and raised it, "Cheers to that"

I refused to imitate him. His eyes glimmered with the feverishness of a predator as he brought the cup to his lips. My blood rushed through my veins and urged me run; run away from this commitment, from this curse. However, I stayed still, sweating nervously on my chair.

That was the moment I realized I was doomed.

* * *

a/n: I had this written since a week ago, don't know why I hadn't updated. I hope you like it :)


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